“Parents are the ultimate role models for children. Every word, movement and action has an effect. No other person or outside force has a greater influence on a child than the parent.” — Bob Keeshan (Captain Kangaroo).
D O G R O W N C H I L D R E N R U L E Y O U R L I F E ?
This is a rhetorical think piece dedicated to all those parents whose grown children have left the nest and yet hold some type of moral suasion over their lives as to whom they should date, have an involvement with or even conduct their own affairs. At times these parents cringe with fear as they do not want to upset their children. But what about their own happiness in life?
We all know that there comes a time when parents must let their children go into the adult world to be on their own, live their own lives, establish their own families and careers and make their way in the world.
Cutting the proverbial “apron strings” for many parents is a tough thing to do especially if one of their children is a problem child or one who has special needs. But under normal circumstances years of parental guidance and support usually makes this transition a smooth one.
But do parents in turn not have the right to live their lives the way they want and enjoy new experiences free from their adult children’s criticisms and concerns?
Death, divorce and other unforeseen circumstances tend to impinge on many couple’ marital vows and commitments and when this happens distraught and confused parents turn to their children for moral support but at times receive rebuke, criticism and estrangement.
Widows, widowers, divorces and other folks finding themselves alone later in life continue to seek the approval of family members who seem unable to let go of their parents as parents and not people harboring their own needs and pursuits.
Single parents are placed into stereotypical roles that makes them more acceptable to their children who would rather see their parent depressed and forlorn and dependent on them rather than vibrant, alive, joyful and filled with enthusiasm for life and living.
There should be a tipping point at which grown children accept their parents as adults and equals who have supported them through their growing years and now can be appreciated for themselves in their golden years of life.
Adult children need to realize that parents are not their personal chattel answerable to them.
There comes a time when the children should set their parents free to enjoy life and offer them moral support and encouragement to enjoy life in the here and now .
Are your own grown children treating you fairly or are you a prisoner to their unrealistic whims and demands? — gc