“Hallo, Rabbit,” he said, “is that you?”“Let’s pretend it isn’t,” said Rabbit, “and see what happens.”― A.A. Milne
C O N T E M P L A T I N G H I S G I F T O P T I O N S
Christmas is now a pleasant memory for most folks and while Santa Claus and his elves are taking full advantage of the down time to rest up his throne is now resting empty waiting for another well-known seasonal favorite to man up and occupy this much cherished seat.
Who better to do so than the Easter Bunny — that long-eared and beloved rascal who brightens up the clouded spring weather with brightly colored eggs , chocolate treats and an assortment of other goodies.
Unfortunately this year he seems to be a bit perplexed as he sits on his throne deciding if he should change his marketing approach.
With the arrival of a newly elected president in the White House he wonders if he should choose gifts that would accurately reflect the personality of the folks destined to receive them.
Some trusted mall sources that wish to remain anonymous at this time were able to catch a brief glimpse here and there at this revised gift list. Here is a brief example of the most coveted list:
(1) President Trump –For the president he is creating a new type of adult diaper which he will call the “Trumpster” with a number of added security tabs to prevent leaks from happening now and again.
(2) Devin Nunes — He will receive a revised version of the Harry Potter “cloak of invisibility” which will allow him free and easy access to the WHite House after hours so that he can keep the big guy informed of his committee’s findings.
(3) Sean Spicer — A special collection of liqueur filled eggs will be offered to this man whom for Lent gave up his daily glass of wine his only connection to the real world without his boos telling him that fake news is out there.
(4) Kelly Anne Conway — A specially designed chocolate egg will contain not a creamy center but a photo of a speciality line of clothing that Nordstrom has created to honor her for her mentioning their store name during White House business.
(5) Paul Ryan — He will receive a six-foot tall marshmallow filled chocolate rabbit with long ears to help him not only maintain his political presence but allow the press and other s of that ilk to nibble on its ears and not affect him personally.
(6) Stephen Bannon –His gift required a lot of co coordinating and planning. It is rumored that his Easter treat be a chocolate ” matryoshka doll, also known as a Russian nesting doll, or Russian doll, which is usually a set of wooden dolls of decreasing size placed one inside another.
The name “matryoshka”, literally “little matron”. and who deserves this considerate gift tan the man who turned the Oval Office upside down. At times he needs all the matroning a person of his stature deserves.
Well , trust me folks, this is only a special gift list for the more notable members of the White House. The rest of us will receive the same old mundane stuff we are all familiar with. I know that sounds like the current workings in the Oval Office but trust me. It will only get better.
There is one last item from the White House. This year’s scheduled Easter Egg roll will be closely scrutinized by both the FBI and CIA. The hard boiled eggs are going to be equipped with a tracking device so that no after hours hanky panky will take place unnoticed.
It’s a wonder that anything of any value gets done now in that hysteric Pennsylvania Avenue location. — gc