Embarrassing issue for local mall


“Most true things are kind of corny, don’t you think? But we make them more sophisticated out of sheer embarrassment.”Michel Faber, The Book of Strange New Things

Some issues in life require diplomacy and finesse. Others necessitate pulling out the big guns and handling the situation directly. One local mall recently discovered that a large group of crows were nested atop a centrally located tower and pooping on the heads of passersby. Multiple complaints to mall management resulted in immediate response from clean up crews using cherry pickers and determination to get rid of the pests.

So you and your family are out and about enjoying a leisurely stroll through your favorite mall ready to explore a nearby farmer’s market when suddenly you feel yourself bombarded by a barrage of bird poop.

This happened recently to many passersby who happened to find themselves beneath a lighted mall directory tower. Crows perched themselves on the steel beams and launched unprovoked attacks on unsuspecting folks below.

The winged interlopers are a fair size and their sporadic bowel movements on the real estate and people below was creating health and safety issues and concerns.





About gc (659 Articles)
Quote of the week: "If you think of yourselves as helpless and ineffectual, it is certain that you will create a despotic government to be your master. The wise despot, therefore, maintains among his subjects a popular sense that they are helpless and ineffectual.-- Frank Herbert quotes .

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